


Bubbie

by isengard



Category: Young Avengers
Genre: I don't even know I just suddenly had jewish!billy inspiration, Jewish Character, M/M, Yiddish, billy has a bubbie, drabbly nonsense, modeled after my bubbie
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2012-09-11
Updated: 2012-09-11
Packaged: 2017-11-14 01:42:47
Rating: General Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 1,259
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/509968
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/isengard/pseuds/isengard
Summary: <blockquote class="userstuff">
              <p>Billy's Bubbie comes to dinner.  That's basically it.</p>
            </blockquote>





	Bubbie

“But Billy, I thought your family wasn’t even that Jewish.”

“ _Don’t_ say that in front of Bubbie, okay?” Billy ran a hand through his hair nervously. This would be the first time Teddy was meeting his paternal grandmother – his Bubbie, as she insisted on being called. Bubbie was pushing eighty years old but still drove around in her late husband’s Cadillac, still shopped at the farmer’s market and knew every single vendor there, and was still telling insane stories about how she and Sammy Davis Jr. were lovers in the sixties. Billy loved Bubbie, the woman had practically raised him for the first few years of his life, but he knew that meeting her for the first time was…well, an _experience_ , to say the least.

“Anything else I should know?”

Billy shrugged. “I mean, she’s almost eighty, so don’t get offended by anything she says.”

“I thought you said she knows – ”

“Yeah, she knows I’m _gay_ , but she also knows you’re not Jewish. That’s what I meant earlier.”

Teddy nodded and blew out a long breath. They’d arrived in front of Billy’s door, and the smells of Jewish food were already filling the hall of the building. “All right. Wait – ” he pulled Billy in for a kiss, and Billy felt his mouth turn up in a smile. “Don’t worry, B. I’m on my best behavior starting now.”

Billy kissed him again swiftly and set his hand on the door handle. “It’s not you I’m worried about,” he said ruefully.

“Is that Billy?” came a voice from the kitchen as they walked in. “Is that my grandson?”

Billy’s face split into a grin as he ran forward to hug his grandmother. Bubbie’s tiny, sturdy form was soft in his arms, and she reached up to kiss his face and leave an enormous lipstick print on his cheek. “Hi, Bubbie,” he said, standing up straight as they broke apart. He motioned to Teddy. “There’s someone I want you to meet.”

She smiled warmly and extended a hand to Teddy. “You must be Teddy, the goy my grandson’s so taken with.”

Teddy blinked. “Yes?”

“ _It means not Jewish_ ,” Billy whispered to him.

“Oh, yeah. Well, I – ”

“That’s all right, bubelah, some of my best friends are goyim. They’ll tell you I don’t bite.” She held his hand tightly. “I’m your Bubbie now, Teddy. Every child needs a Bubbie. Especially the goyim.”

“Okay. Cool,” Teddy smiled back, looking relieved. “It’s so nice to finally meet you, Bubbie.”

“Tell me about your family,” Bubbie demanded, guiding them all to the couch. “Your parents, what do they do?”

Teddy took a deep breath. “Well, my father was an army pilot. He – he’s no longer with us. He died when I was a baby.”

Bubbie laid a hand over her enormous Star of David pendant. “He is with God now.”

“Um, yeah. Thanks. My mom is a nurse – ”

“Catholic?” Bubbie asked suddenly, a shrewd undertone in her voice.

“Well, we’re not really religious – ”

“As long as you’re not one of those Mormon shmendricks.”

“Oh god,” Billy groaned.

“Honey, let me tell you something,” Bubbie said in a low voice to Teddy. “I love Catholics. Why, Father Aquino thanks I’ve got a little Catholic in me. You know what I tell him?” She winked. “Jesus was a Jew, all right. And I went to his Bar Mitzvah.” She laughed loudly and then stood up without warning. “Kenahora! Rebecca, you’d better not be burning the kugel!”

Teddy looked utterly bemused as Bubbie went rushing off to the kitchen. “Wow. Okay.”

Billy squeezed his hand. “You survived your first encounter.”

“What’s a kugel?”

It’s…it’s like a casserole, kind of?” Billy wasn’t sure how to explain kugel to Teddy, especially Bubbie’s kugel, which was some bizarre combination of Ashkenazi recipes from the turn of the century. “It’s good.”

“Smells kind of weird,” Teddy said doubtfully.

“It’s gonna look even weirder. Just eat it. Eat everything she puts in front of you,” Billy warned him. “She’ll feed you until you die, but you gotta go with it.”

“ _That_ ,” Teddy said, smiling in anticipation, “I think I can handle.”

\--

“ _Liver_?” Teddy repeated, and it was clear he was trying to be polite about it.

Bubbie mistook his apprehension for enthusiasm and dumped another scoop of chopped liver onto his plate. “My mother’s! _Kenahora_ , God rest her soul,” she added in an undertone.

Billy took a huge bite of his and moaned in bliss. “Bubbie, it’s amazing.”

She smiled hugely. “That’s my boy. Billy, bubelah, your friend here seems to think my cooking is a bunch of dreck.”

Teddy’s eyebrows shot up anxiously. “Huh?”

“ _Bubbie_ ,” Billy said sternly. “No, he doesn’t. He’s just never had chopped liver before.” He spooned another heaping serving into his mouth. “Try it, T,” he said through his mouthful.

Bubbie gaped at Teddy. “Never had _liver_? Oh, kenahora, he _must_ be Catholic.” She studied Teddy’s face and nodded. “That’s a Catholic punum if I’ve ever seen one.”

Teddy seemed to steel himself, and then took a bite. His eyes opened wide. “Oh my god,” he said. “That’s – that’s really good.”

Bubbie looked pleased.

\-- 

An hour later, Teddy and Billy were as full as they’d ever been. Bubbie’d been delighted by Teddy’s enjoyment of the liver and had kept giving him more kugel, more tzimmes, more challah, more borscht – it wasn’t a meal, it was an _event_.

“I think my stomach is rebelling,” Billy groaned, suppressing a burp. “Oh, man.”

Teddy leaned against him. “Mine too.”

“Sammy Davis Jr. _loved_ my blintzes,” Bubbie was saying across from them. She winked at Teddy. “Not as much as he loved my tuchis, though.”

“Mom, please stop,” Billy heard his dad say tiredly. “I _really_ don’t want to hear about that.”

Billy raised his hand. “Seconded.”

Bubbie gave him a look. “All right, quit kvetching. You know, I won’t be around to tell these stories forever.”

Billy smirked. “Sure you will.”

“Not if you don’t call me sometimes, I won’t.”

“I’ll make sure he calls, Bubbie,” Teddy said.

“Thank you, bubelah. That’s very Catholic of you.”

“I’m not – ”

Billy squeezed his hand under the table and shook his head silently. The message was clear. _Don’t bother_.

\--

After a lengthy goodbye with Bubbie that took nearly half an hour and a much briefer one with Billy’s parents, the two teens walked hand in hand back to the subway, still sluggish from dinner.

“Well, I think that went pretty well,” Billy smiled up at his boyfriend.

“She’s fantastic,” Teddy grinned back. “I can’t wait to tell my mom that I have a Bubbie.”

“And that you’re Catholic now,” Billy added.

Teddy laughed. “Oh, yeah. She’ll love that.”

Billy stood on his toes and pulled Teddy in for a soft kiss. “Have I mentioned today that you’re great, and I love you?”

Teddy bit his lip gently. “Possibly, but feel free to repeat it anytime.”

“Mm.” Billy rubbed his nose against Teddy’s. “I had a feeling you were perfect, and now it’s confirmed, because Bubbie loves you too.”

“Yeah?” Teddy asked, sliding a hand into Billy’s pocket. “Are you ever going to tell me what – what was it she called me?”

“A shiksa,” Billy laughed, “and no, I’m never going to tell you. It was a joke anyways.”

“Hmph,” Teddy grumbled. “You’re lucky you’re cute, Billy Kaplan.”

\-- 

Billy got a text from Teddy later that night: _I googled it. Shiksa and proud, baby!_

Once he’d finally stopped laughing long enough to regain control of his limbs, he responded: _Bubbie will be so happy_.

**Author's Note:**

> a little glossary:  
>  _Bubbie_ : yiddish for grandmother  
>  _goyim_ : plural of goy, means non-Jews  
>  _bubelah_ : term of endearment, usually for children/grandchildren/pets  
>  _shmendrick_ : jerk, kind of, but my Bubbie uses it to be interchangeable with any male identifiers  
>  _kenahora_ : this is hard to translate, google says it's something to guard against the evil eye, which makes sense kind of, but it can also mean "god forbid" or "if only we should be so lucky". I know exactly what it means in every context but I can't translate in into English, if that makes sense.  
>  _Ashkenazi_ : Jews from eastern europe  
>  _dreck_ : crap  
>  _punum_ : face, usually like a precious face  
>  _tuchis_ : bootay  
>  _kvetch_ : complain, whine  
>  _shiksa_ : a white lady who is attracted to or attracts jewish men. lovingly pejorative.


End file.
